Solitude

Calian Tarr

Member
The following prose is to fill the blanks my OOC absence left, vaguely going through the struggles and thoughts of him being marooned. So obviously, unless Calian told this to your toon, they wouldn't know this.

Day 1


It was quiet in the cockpit, barring the subtle whirring of the various apparatuses keeping not only the machines running, but keeping the cruel, cold void at bay.

Calian looked ahead, his eyes unfocused, blankly staring out of the viewport with the sole exception of glances at gauges or double-checking a button he’d press or a switch he’d use.

It ended suddenly like hitting a wall: an alarm started blaring, jolting Calian awake from his zoned-out state: eyes now wide open, he scrambled to figure out what exactly was wrong – and why. The dashboard of the cockpit was lit up in red, and all of it seemed to care little for what Calian tried. His efforts were all in vain, and he did the next best option: slowly beginning to steer the ship towards the nearest planet. “Better to go out in a blaze of glory than choke to death.”, he thought to himself while the planet slowly approached, his ears ringing from the alarms and face lit up red almost like by a lightsaber.

The approach onto the planet was faster than he expected.

The cockpit heated up as the ship rapidly approached the jungle-covered surface. Calian could hear bits and pieces flying off the ship even before they made contact with the local flora.

The ship rattled through the thick foliage, slamming into the branches that came after. Calian steered the ship as much as he could through the abuse that the branches provided, eventually the ship slamming down violently onto the surface, sliding down the muddy forest floor, until it eventually came to a stop. Calian drew a deep breath, looking both left and right and then touched his face. “Still kickin’”, he sighed out in relief. A few taps, pushes and switches on the dashboard made him realize very little was working.

Making his way out of the ship, he went and inspected the damage: it looked like a ship long abandoned by now, looking at all the mud staining its hull, with the countless branches and leaves stuck to it. Calian rolled up his sleeves and “popped the hood” to inspect the damage as much as he could. He stared at the engine for a moment, only for it to say very little to him. He slammed it shut, looked up at the cool rain, then moved back inside and grabbed his hydrospanner.

Time to fix the comms.

Day 7


His eyes slowly opened, the sight of the cockpit’s ceiling greeting him once more. He sighed and stretched, a sharp pain in his rib as he extended fully. Standing up, he brought his hand up to his neck to rub it with a groan. His attention was then taken to the comms: still no signs of life. It hadn’t magically been restored overnight. She’d surely send someone. Or something.

Calian leaned over the engine. Again. Must have looked at it a dozen times, and it didn’t make any more sense than the first time.

He slammed it shut, and pain shot up his wrist, still sore from the crash. He walked back inside the wreck of a ship to shelter himself from the elements. He pushed the wet hair off his face and looked at the dashboard he had pried open a couple days prior, the fried circuits inside mocking him. The floor was littered with bits and pieces he almost was able to use, but only almost.

He rammed his fist into the rations box only to find it nearing its end; three, four days of slop-bars left. After that…

He’d have to hunt. Or forage. Maybe it was finally time to meet the local flora and fauna. He stepped out of the ship once more, wandering towards a nearby bush. His boot snapped a twig in half, causing immediate movement in the bush: a vaguely rat-like creature scurried out into some more foliage. Calian stared at the bush it disappeared to for a moment, but moved towards his original target. He crouched by it and shuffled the branches and leaves around, spotting some berries. Or fruits. What was the difference? He picked them off the bush and squeezed one between his fingertips, sniffed it and then tasted it.

Sweet. Eugh. But edible.

One more look the way of the rat creature before standing up, throwing another one of the berry-fruits into his mouth before spending the afternoon looking for anything remotely edible in the area.

As daylight slowly came to a stop, he ventured back to his beat-up home, that accursed cockpit that was definitely not intended for sleep.

Could be a while, he pondered.

His fingers tapped at the edge of the near-empty ration box. He wondered if she’d look for him. He peered out the rain-streaked viewport, taking in the sight of the warpath his ship had carved through the trees and forest floor a week prior. Broken trees, branches scattered, deep imprint of the ship’s hull in the mud. She had to, after all they had gone through, right? The thought crept into his mind yet again as it had a few times already. It had only been a week, so there was still time.

Had it really just been a week? Felt longer. What would she say? Stop bitching and fix it?

He listened to the sound of the falling rain against the ship as he sat with these thoughts, slowly drifting away to sleep.
 

Calian Tarr

Member
Day 30


Calian sat under one of the ship's wings, roasting an unidentifiable slab of meat over a small fire. The fire highlighted the dark bags under his eyes as he stared blankly at the slowly browning meat.

Month. It had been a month.

The mystery meat was pulled away from the flame for first an inspection, then a bite: he chewed and swallowed with great difficulty, gagging immediately afterwards. Worse than Shaddaa’s stalls. Bitter, gamey. Like chewing on a boot. He stood up - or tried to, banging his head on the wing before slamming his ass back down onto the ground. He cursed the wing as he rubbed the impact point with the fleshy bit of his palm; almost felt like he had been shot in the head.

What the hell had they been training that one time? Precognition? Sense?, he shook his head as he couldn’t remember, slowly moving the palm away from his head, still throbbing.

She had gambled on his skill and fired a live blaster at his head. What if he hadn’t been all she expected? Sure, might’ve been fixable - but still. What the fuck?

Calian scoffed at the memory, then sighed.

A month was a long time. But really, it was also a short time. Maybe she would send out some probes. Was he just making excuses?

He dropped his head, propped his arms over his knees and just continued forcing the food down his throat, staring at the dirtied pants on his legs.

Was she looking? Was she going to look? Not knowing was the worst part. And he was so fucking lonely. Not a word to- or from another person in a month. All alone with his thoughts.

Calian looked over his shoulder to the terrain that he had left largely unexplored. He had stayed relatively close to the ship, his only landmark in the jungle as far as the eye could see.

He couldn’t be waiting there forever, he thought; he should start moving and find his own way off the planet. Maybe he would find a ship with working comms. Or at least spare parts. Wishful thinking, har har.

Getting his own way off of that rock.

Day 60~ish


DOES IT EVER STOP FUCKING RAINING HERE?

Those were Calian’s first thoughts as he groaned, waking up to yet another day of sound of rain against the leaves of the trees outside the cave he had curled up in for the night. He rolled his shoulders and groaned once more, the oh‑so‑familiar aches lingering from another night of horrible sleeping arrangements.

Sitting up and leaning against the cold, moist wall of the cave, he stared out into the rain. Hungry, but not hungry enough to go out into the rain just yet. Tilting his head back against the cave wall, he stared at the ceiling.

He wasn’t planning on dying there, but he sure as hell was going to lose his fucking mind there sooner or later. Had to be two months‑ish since he last spoke to another person.

He grabbed his hair and pulled it away from his face. It was disgusting to the touch, and even disheveled to his liking, just chaos instead of controlled chaos, the way he liked it.

Bitch.

A single word repeated in his head, brow furrowing.

It was all up to him to get off that fucking rock by the look of things. Maybe he would just build a ship from scratch from wood and rocks!

He grabbed a rock beside him to play with the idea for a moment, throwing it from one hand to the other before throwing it into the opposite wall with loud profanity, rustling in the leaves outside meaning he probably scared off some local wildlife. The rock ricocheted off the wall and back towards him, the familiar tingle of precognition warning him to block it with his hand. The rock slammed into the back of his hand, piercing the skin before it fell to the ground. He hissed before looking at the bit of blood pouring out the wound, giving it a lick.

He stopped mid‑lick to ponder, raising his head to just stare at the blood…

He had fucked up that time. Not really that much better than her, now that he thought about it. With all her faults, if she had still been around, she would have looked. Unlike the bitch. Fuck you.

At least consider your investments, sunk cost fal… whatever the fuck. But NOOO, she's probably jumped right to another one.

Calian’s thoughts kept spiraling into the past until something snapped him out from the almost trance‑like state: it was the unmistakable sound of a ship. A distant one, but a ship nonetheless. He quickly exited the cave and looked to the skies, trying to get a good look through the foliage.

The sound got closer, and closer, and closer… until Calian got a glimpse of it through the trees. It was a shitbox basically kept together with tape, hopes and dreams. Certainly wasn’t her.

The ship started drawing further and further away, but Calian took chase, doing what he could to avoid the roots and rocks on the ground: eventually enhancing his speed with the Force to even try to follow the ship in the direction it was going.

He was getting off that rock.

He couldn’t help but notice some part of him still wanted her there. He violently shook his head, crushed the thought and dashed deeper into the jungle.

Day 90~ish


You look fucking awful.

Calian stared at his dim reflection from a puddle for a moment. He traced his fingers across his face, turning it to different angles.

What had happened to his moneymaker?

He rose from his crouched position and kicked some mud on the puddle, like the reflection was its fault. His attention went back to the skies, trying to listen to the faintest sound of a ship. They were very irregular, but they did come and go from that way: he had managed to slowly follow them, and hesitated to move without them. It likely was his only ticket off the planet.

He even held his breath to try and hear the ships: he would have halted the wind and the rustling of the leaves around him if he could. A deep exhale after he heard nothing. There was barely shelter there, so it wasn’t like he could stay there. He looked at the thick jungle ahead of him, also in the vague direction he had seen the ships come and go. Approaching the wildlife, he stomped, swatted and occasionally used his lightsaber to force an opening where one otherwise didn’t exist.

He couldn’t wait to see the look on her face after she thought she was rid of him.

His brow furrowed as he continued forcing his way through the jungle, eventually hearing a sound he hadn’t heard in months: sound of metal slamming against metal. He stopped in his tracks, rapidly turning his head in an attempt to try and hear where it came from, or if there was more of it to come, holding his breath yet again.

He didn’t hear the sound of metal again, but something better: the distinct sound of chatter. His face turned towards it immediately and he started his rapid approach.

He's like a Corellian roach. She could probably have separated his head from the body and he’d still have kept kicking.

It fortunately wasn’t long until he destroyed the last bit of vine before he found what he was looking for: a small clearing that had what looked like a warehouse and a landing pad, although nature was clearly trying to overtake both. On the landing pad was one of those shitboxes he had spotted prior - they were clearly loading stuff into the ship from the building. He was on limited time.

He stood in the jungle by the clearing for a moment before he just approached: he didn’t bother sneaking, just confidently walked towards the warehouse. It didn’t take too long for him to get spotted, the crates being dropped once more as they raised blasters at him, yelling at him in Huttese.

“Fellas, fellas! I’m just lookin’ to hitch a ride!”, he enthusiastically yelled in return. In the same motion as he raised his arms, he grabbed his lightsaber from his hip and held it there. “I’m not picky - ANYWHERE but here!”, he continued speaking in Basic even if he got Huttese in return.

As soon as his boot touched against the plasteel flooring, the blasters fired at him: a click and a swing of his raised arm downwards to deflect the bolts with the ignited crimson blade, he made a Force‑enhanced dash for the duo. They managed to yell out for help before being cut down, with the reinforcements soon exiting the warehouse.

The fight went by in an instant, and there was a strange sadness in his heart, even if he had his ticket off‑world: first chance to talk to people in months and he had to kill them. He took a quick glance into the warehouse and couldn’t help but peek at the cargo as well: he bobbed his head left and right as he switched the saber off and approached the shitbox, trying to gauge if that thing would even survive ascent.
 
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